The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
