Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
