Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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