Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless

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  (586): On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless http://tfl.nu/z7nx
  Replies (6) Good night (1088) Bad night (1202)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.

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  (403): I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness. http://tfl.nu/0zt1
  Replies (8) Good night (791) Bad night (1969)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.

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  (704): Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that. http://tfl.nu/31qd
  Replies (10) Good night (606) Bad night (4737)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.

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  (561): I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on. http://tfl.nu/csv9
  Replies (14) Good night (5039) Bad night (790)
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  (714): View more from California

  Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.

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  (714): Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover. http://tfl.nu/xecz
  Replies (18) Good night (6673) Bad night (1125)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.

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  (859): If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference. http://tfl.nu/hvve
  Replies (4) Good night (2665) Bad night (683)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.

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  (908): P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed. http://tfl.nu/fp9c
  Replies (6) Good night (1439) Bad night (490)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!

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  (479): That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?! http://tfl.nu/832w
  Replies (2) Good night (794) Bad night (737)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone

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  (917): She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone http://tfl.nu/cug7
  Replies (6) Good night (1164) Bad night (439)
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  (+32): View more from Belgium

  You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...

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  (+32): You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep... http://tfl.nu/47cg
  Replies (2) Good night (1062) Bad night (361)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.

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  (830): You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations. http://tfl.nu/eber
  Replies (3) Good night (675) Bad night (501)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it

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  (514): dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it http://tfl.nu/9328
  Replies (6) Good night (422) Bad night (844)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.

  (1-903): View more from Texas

  Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.

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  (903): Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped. (1-903): Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good. http://tfl.nu/iolm
  Replies (8) Good night (1772) Bad night (352)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?

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  (902): Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport? http://tfl.nu/84nt
  Replies (3) Good night (445) Bad night (293)
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  (415): View more from California

  turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.

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  (415): turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world. http://tfl.nu/96m9
  Replies (3) Good night (583) Bad night (299)

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