It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
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