wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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