Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense

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(313): We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense http://tfl.nu/elta

Replies (3) Good night (1286) Bad night (564)
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(310): View more from California

something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up

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(310): something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up http://tfl.nu/bg0v

Replies (52) Good night (620) Bad night (4918)
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(914): View more from New York

you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped

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(914): you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped http://tfl.nu/cz84

Replies (23) Good night (6916) Bad night (1029)
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(512): View more from Texas

I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.

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(512): I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high. http://tfl.nu/3kr7

Replies (27) Good night (5361) Bad night (1059)
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(703): View more from Virginia

he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh

(1-703): View more from Virginia

be sure to add "office slut" to your resume

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(703): he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh (1-703): be sure to add "office slut" to your resume http://tfl.nu/3kje

Replies (10) Good night (4808) Bad night (1023)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.

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(902): Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands. http://tfl.nu/svno

Replies (16) Good night (3418) Bad night (1420)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.

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(937): I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him. http://tfl.nu/k4ub

Replies (21) Good night (4066) Bad night (1813)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person

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(715): I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person http://tfl.nu/kk0f

Replies (16) Good night (2649) Bad night (1009)
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(217): View more from Illinois

We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed

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(217): We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed http://tfl.nu/j4f4

Replies (4) Good night (2060) Bad night (777)
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(804): View more from Virginia

My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.

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(804): My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur. http://tfl.nu/bitm

Replies (11) Good night (3022) Bad night (1285)
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(512): View more from Texas

I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position

(1-512): View more from Texas

I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.

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(512): I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position (1-512): I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed. http://tfl.nu/u3vm

Replies (9) Good night (2339) Bad night (867)
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(253): View more from Washington

I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks

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(253): I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks http://tfl.nu/tvej

Replies (11) Good night (1103) Bad night (591)
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(248): View more from Michigan

We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.

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(248): We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land. http://tfl.nu/euer

Replies (6) Good night (1797) Bad night (508)
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(209): View more from California

The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.

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(209): The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be. http://tfl.nu/3gjr

Replies (5) Good night (906) Bad night (409)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can

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(775): He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can http://tfl.nu/kb09

Replies (17) Good night (1486) Bad night (905)

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