Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(732): View more from New Jersey

she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(732): she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back http://tfl.nu/8662

Replies (14) Good night (5087) Bad night (1298)
Favorite
(732): View more from New Jersey

No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(732): No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day. http://tfl.nu/5atz

Replies (29) Good night (5487) Bad night (2173)
Favorite
(480): View more from Arizona

we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(480): we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had http://tfl.nu/e6dk

Replies (16) Good night (4923) Bad night (1030)
Favorite
(270): View more from Kentucky

He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(270): He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in. http://tfl.nu/fxk7

Replies (8) Good night (804) Bad night (3339)
Favorite
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(724): For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you. http://tfl.nu/dykx

Replies (8) Good night (3532) Bad night (923)
Favorite
(478): View more from Georgia

You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable

(318): View more from Louisiana

You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(478): You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable (318): You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call. http://tfl.nu/575v

Replies (13) Good night (2795) Bad night (918)
Favorite
(262): View more from Wisconsin

Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.

(262): View more from Wisconsin

I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(262): Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward. (262): I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win. http://tfl.nu/2vvo

Replies (18) Good night (841) Bad night (1827)
Favorite
(646): View more from New York

Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(646): Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her. http://tfl.nu/s0ys

Replies (5) Good night (3477) Bad night (806)
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that. http://tfl.nu/hdvk

Replies (14) Good night (2901) Bad night (810)
Favorite
(405): View more from Oklahoma

there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(405): there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this. http://tfl.nu/t3uy

Replies (1) Good night (416) Bad night (722)
Favorite
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(403): She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship http://tfl.nu/44te

Replies (6) Good night (1661) Bad night (413)
Favorite
(607): View more from New York

she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(607): she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on http://tfl.nu/rygw

Replies (2) Good night (801) Bad night (300)
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK http://tfl.nu/p76p

Replies (2) Good night (360) Bad night (663)
Favorite
(864): View more from South Carolina

Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(864): Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement. http://tfl.nu/mb59

Replies (8) Good night (635) Bad night (348)
Favorite
(901): View more from Tennessee

I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(901): I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o http://tfl.nu/nklr

Replies (1) Good night (311) Bad night (228)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard