trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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