A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.