A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
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