Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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