let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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