New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
