Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
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