Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
