the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
