I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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