I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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