Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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