Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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