I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
