Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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