Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
