I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize