Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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