just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
