Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
