I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
