i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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