I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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