I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
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well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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