You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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