She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
