i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
They took my balls.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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