someone get that fucking seahorse.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
