But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
