Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
