that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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