I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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