can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
