the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize