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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed

  Fav 33 1144 3041

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?

  Fav 47 5813 1092

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• (352): View more from Florida

  You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.

  Fav 8 3826 821

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  please don't let me die tonight

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  what have you done for me lately?

  Fav 18 5167 1624

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  These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy

  Fav 16 4178 1096

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am

  Fav 5 2653 1631

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.

  Fav 6 1195 4160

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor

  Fav 2 2088 1018

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?

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  21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market

  Fav 3 1103 998

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler

  Fav 4 1297 614

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.

  Fav 3 600 1076

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!

  Fav 2 796 1007

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• (512): View more from Texas

  there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.

  Fav 1 239 152

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