U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.