Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.