1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Help. Why am I so naked?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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