Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass