The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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