I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
No I am not eating basil off your cock
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Bang-toberfest begins!!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
