I puked a lego.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize