I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
