I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
