Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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