im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
