just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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