She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Damn victory sex feels great
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
