I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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