You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
birth control should be required to get into college
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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