you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize