I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
