He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
