32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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