My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
