I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
