i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
