Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
