I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
