Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
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Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
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Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I want to fling myself into the sun
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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