yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
