your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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